Frequently Asked Questions About Sexual Addiction and Recovery from a Biblical Perspective
"What is sexual addiction?"
Sexual addiction is a condition that's marked by a pattern of sexually illicit behavior that has become unmanageable. An escalation in the frequency or intensity of the use of pornography or commercial sexual services is one sign of addiction; another is the intrusion of these behaviors into the primary aspects (career, family life, finances) of a man's life.
"Isn't that the same as sexual sin?"
Not quite. Sexual sin, while very serious and consequential, does not indicate addiction. Just as not everyone who gets drunk is necessarily an alcoholic, so not everyone who uses pornography or engages in adultery is necessarily sexually addicted. When the behavior begins to escalate and intrude into all parts of life, then it indicates addiction.
"How is sexual addiction overcome?"
We believe that once a man has given himself to sexually addictive behavior to the extent that he's addicted, he will be addicted for life. That's the bad news. The good news is that, like other addictions, sexual addiction can be managed so that the addict need never engage in the addictive behavior. Like the alcoholic who recognizes he'll always be drawn to alcohol yet abstains from its use, so the sexual addict learns to manage his sexual desires so that he need never yield to them again. But he must always recognize that they well be a strong source of temptation, and he must make provision for that.
"So exactly how do you help a sexual addict at Genesis Counseling?"
At Genesis Counseling, we've learned that sexual addiction is not a disease we can cure; rather, it's a condition we teach our clients to manage. Just as the diabetic learns daily self care (diet restrictions, insulin dosages, etc.) to keep his condition under control, so the sexual addict needs tools and resources that, when used consistently, will keep his behavior in check.
Referring to his addiction as a condition by no means relieves the addict of his responsibility. It was his decision to indulge in the sexual behavior he became addicted to; he must now decide to take the action necessary to manage his addiction.
To this end we achieve three primary goals: stabilization, insight and equipping.
By addressing the immediate crises which brought our client to us (i.e. exposure of his secret use of pornography, an affair that came to light, a recent arrest), assessing his options, and addressing the enormous shame and anxiety he experiences, we help stabilize our client by putting his crises and future potential into perspective.
By educating our clients on the subject of sexual addiction in general - its physiological, spiritual and psychological roots, the distinctions between sexual sin and sexual addiction, addictive cycles and common addictive traits - AND by educating our clients on the their own unique addictive tendencies - we provide them with invaluable insight into their condition, behavior, personality and relational capacities.
By teaching our clients daily self care, accountability principles and use of resources, AND by carefully developing an aftercare plan utilizing group accountability, sponsorship and regular follow up, we equip our men with the tools necessary to maintain their sexual sobriety and maximize their spiritual and emotional potential.
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